Episode Eight - Want Some Merge with Your Drama?

[James Miller]

Confessional

Oh my gosh. Never in my life have I taken part in a merge this dramatic. Seriously.

I half-expected, at the beginning of this round, to come to my confessional and write about how exciting the merge has been and how good it feels to be one tribe. However, that's not at all what I have to write about. It's all this damn drama.

Stephenie is a straight up bitch. She's just doing everything for attention, and it's so obvious. Alicia is over-reacting about getting a single vote from tribemates a few rounds ago. Amanda and Greg are dramatic... too dramatic. They apparently went off and made an alliance with Eliza and Stephenie. However, they still expect me to follow suit and jump right in with them. You kidding me? Jaime is being overly dramatic about being targetted.

I'm so sick of the drama. It's all so unnecessary. My philosophy is to just keep my mouth shut. I came into this merge with a ton of people in my corner. I don't need to take part in all this crap. I'm over it. And frankly, it wouldn't bother me in the least to see every last damn woman voted out of this game. They're the source of all this. Take 'em all out!

Anyway, I'm just venting. I might write more later.

James

[James Miller]

Confessional

So much on my mind right now. This could be a long read. Sorry.

I honestly can't believe Jaime got the boot. Although she and I weren't incredibly close, we were still pretty close. I was much closer to her than alot of these douchebags still left in the game. That sucks. It really does. I feel like a big chunk of my allegiance is no longer in the game. Goodbye James/Jaime/Jeanne alliance.

I don't want to vote again.

I hate Greg right now. I do. I probably won't tomorrow, but the kid has no balls. He is someone that I'd die to work with, but he turns into a pussy when he hears his name come up. He ended up voting for Jaime because JT said he wanted Greg gone. What the fuck does that have to do with Jaime?! For real. I like Greg. He's cool. We've always been tight. But the Greg that has been playing the game since this merge is not the same person that I once knew.

There are so many alliance rumors floating around right now. It's so gay. It really is. It reminds me of why I hate the word "alliance" so much. I'm pretty sure that Tamarida is Arabic for "Way too many fuckin' alliances" because it has had that effect on this game.

I don't want to vote again.

Coming into this merge, I felt like I had everyone on my side. Jaime, Jeanne, and Ashlee considered me allies. JT and I always conversed about the votes. Greg and I were super tight, and he was my desire for a finals partner. Amanda thought she needed my help when I was really more against her than anyone else. Then I met new people like Alicia, Brook, and Eliza who I think are super cool. It would shock me if anyone hates me right now. Unfortunately, I'm sure that will present a problem down the road.

I'm going to have to break down and send a pm to Stephenie. Stupid bitch.

I miss Heidi. I feel like she is someone that could've made everything seem like not such a big deal right now. I need that kind of person at the moment.

I don't want to vote again.

I'm desperate to find someone I can talk extensively with. I need to spill my emotions to something other than this confessional so that I can get some feedback. Advice would be grand right now.

Stress

Shock

Disgust

Confusion

I don't want to vote again.

I need to catch up my confessional tomorrow. I'm slacking on that right now just becasue I'm focusing all my energy on conversing with people. Some things will never change. I continue to be a loud mouth who tries to please everyone in the tribe.

My new strategy is to avoid drama. Avoid anger or commotion. After the dust settles around the final eight, I'm back. For now, let the cattiness commence. The people who are acting so bitchy right now are not the people who will be in the finals. I just have to keep reminding myself of that fact.

I don't want to vote again.

I'll probably go vote again soon.

That's all I've got for now. Oh this brain of mine is so damn full! Holla later!

James